What Daddy Has Been Doing

I like the way the Pirate is about to get some grog, and the monkey wants in on the action and has temporarily stowed his wrench in his tail.  Also I dig the jewels.  This is something Jeff was working on for a Lego contest.

I just set up Zack's 529, which I've been meaning to do for about ten months.  Some might say that is a more legitimate accomplishment than finishing a Lego pirate ship.  I am not so sure.

Freedom From the Heat!

We've been having a pretty bad heat wave, and the Valley is always ten degrees hotter.  So it's been pretty tough.

Today, I forgot my phone, and I thought, eh, it won't matter unless I get a same day audition, and what are the odds?  Yep, got one.  Yep, missed it.  I was too busy galavanting with Zack.  Only we weren't galavanting.  I don't think you can really galavant when it's 104 degrees outside.  Our trips to SAG-AFTRA Credit Union and Trader Joe's were cut short by fussiness.  Zack's, not mine, although mine wasn't much better.

But it's a good thing, because then I got home and got my messages and realized I had no time at all to feed Zack and haul us out to Santa Monica.  So I plopped him down and gave him some yoghurt, which he loved.  He has taken to saying, "Mmmmmm," when he likes stuff, and also, "Nom nom nom!"  Just linked that to Urban Dictionary so you can see the many reasons nom nom nom cracks me up.  He really says that.

Except that Zack is a delightful cutie at all times, I was pretty peeved to have an audition.  It meant we were going to miss our little baby swim class at the YMCA.  I don't think Zack will really learn to swim in this class, because that's ridiculous.  But there are three other moms and babies I know in there, and come in, it's 104 degrees.  Plus, auditioning sucks.  I really do hate it.  Working is fun.  Auditioning is lame.

Anyway, great audition, in which Zack got to "act" like he was my baby in the back seat of my car.  Fun stuff.  He wasn't supposed to be there, but he was still fussin', and the camera guy was just cool about it.  He was like, "So, you have a baby in your car.  It could happen."  So Zack got to chew on a water bottle while I tried to park a pretend car.  I'm sure he stole the show.

And then we killed some time in Santa Monica, because oh my gosh, it's sooooo cool there.  What the hell was I ever thinking to live in California NOT by a beach?  So silly.  The breeze blew away our fussiness.  I fed Zack in the park.  He had his favorites:  broccoli and whole wheat bread.  And some jar food.  And he watched kids play.  And we met another little red headed seven-month-old named Clementine.  It's so fun to meet other red-headed babies.  Having a red head is an opportunity for people to talk to you, really.  It's kinda fun.  So I talked to these parents about how everyone talks to us about our red heads.  They were like these tattooed, rocker, Venice Beach parents.  Me likey the freaks.

Then Zack and I came home and had a perfect bed time.  They get better and better.

Weekends!

We'll get some fun pictures up.  For now, I just want to say, weekends are the best.  We spent some time with Zack out on the front lawn today, and he's ridiculous fun now.  He's a non stop party.  I love that kid so much.  He's crazy goodness.

Weekdays, Jeff and I really don't get to see a lot of each other, because our work schedules are so different.  So weekends are great, and weekdays are fine, but sometimes tough--especially since my job is a major stressor.  Someday, the weirdos I work with will seem funny to me, but right now, it seems all I do is complain about them.  Jeff is a bit of a saint to listen, but I think his last job experience gave him empathy for somebody in a position like mine.

But I have to be very, very grateful this year, because I still have a job.  This week at work, many of my friends and coworkers lost 30% to 50% of their hours.  It was quite painful.  One teacher said it will force him into retirement.  Another one doesn't know how he'll "meet his obligations."  Out of sheer luck, I remained on a pristine little island and my job is unchanged.  Since I'm funded by a special federal program, and the program has been reauthorized for next year, I'll be measuring student outcomes and justifying the school's existence and entering all that information into a gigantic database and sending it off to the state and federal government, just like always.  But it can't last.  There will be fewer classes and fewer students, and therefore, fewer outcomes to measure and less data to enter, so I'm sure they'll cut the job eventually.  I just got lucky this time around!

Scary and exciting times Zack has been born into.  Jeff and I are fortunate to be employed and fortunate not to have bought houses--not like that was part of any master plan or anything.  I'll be spending most of this year trying to get another job.  Well, maybe I'll get one soon and it will only take part of the year.  My job has been great in terms of acting, going to graduate school, and now taking care of Zack.  I don't think I could have found another that's part time, paid as decently, and came with the ostensible satisfaction helping people every day.  Well, there's prostitution of course, but that has so many risks and drawbacks.

Monster Mess

Yep, poop in the tub.  I know many parents have been there, and there's probably no need to belabor the point:  it's a bad scene.

I noticed it first on the towel, then on Zack, then on the sheets.  Hm...maybe another bath?  Nope, tub's fulla poo.  Okay, let's get Homeslice changed.  Wow, what still smells?  Oh, it's my clothes, covered in poo.

Just put the boy in the Intellipooper (cause it's safe now) and cleaned up the aftermath.  Much laundry.

AND--thanks Jeff, for putting the Cuisinart blade in the dishwasher.  I was trying to staunch the flow of blood from my left middle finger all during this poopalicious episode.  See, Jeff and I have different philosophies about the dishwasher.  Nevermind what mine is.  That's not the issue here.  His is that the dishwasher should do all the work.  He's good at dishwasher geometry, I'll give him that.  He can fill that thing like nobody's bitness.  But well, some items should get a hand wash.  That's what I believe, is all.  I'm not gonna push my beliefs on anyone.  You know, live and let live.  But let's leave the spiral shaped blade out of the silverware bucket, mkay?

Ten months. Ten pictures.

Julie had a photo shoot on Zack's 10-month marker day last Friday, and this was as far as I could winnow down the pictures.

We usually refer to his crawling style as "the pegleg," but for these shots I prefer "the crab."




These last three are called "I'm going to get that camera!"

Amid the Lilacs

A little trip to Descanso Gardens a few days ago.  Ten month pics coming up soon....

Our Week Off

Yay!  Video.

Okay, get ready to be amazed.  Here is Zack playing with a ball, and well, you may actually hear him say, "Ball."  Also, brace yourself for the face plant at the end of this segment.  I know that's a little rough, but I think it shows a lot about how he's been doing lately.  The crying from any little stumble like that only lasts a few seconds.  Jeff and I both have the same philosophy of reacting to that stuff, which is to make sure there's a complete lack of drama.  So even though inside we're thinking, "Poor Zack!"  And then, "Awww...he looks adorable when he's upset!" we only say, "Yes, you took a little spill," or something like that.  Then, it's no big deal, and playing resumes immediately.

Marc makes Zack laugh.  Sometimes.  Other times,

Marc makes Zack look confused.

Jeff is off for most of this week, and I'm on Spring Break.  So we've been taking care of some business around the house and playing with Zack.  We've been trying to deal with child proofing.  First priority:  securing the cables on our new television!  We're so practical.

The other night, I got the last bit of the internet madness fixed, and I was ecstatic to have a fast connection.  So there I was surfing the internet, while Jeff perused the new TV's features.  This lasted for maybe three hours.  Then we looked up from our respective screens.  It's a happy marriage, folks!

Oh, and I cannot believe I haven't been shouting this from the rooftops.  We had three hours to ourselves because Zack is sleeping through the night!!!

Forgive the indulgence with the exclamation points.  But really, three is not enough.  We did it!  We night weaned him, and then we had one rough night of checkins with some crying.  But the second night, we did not even have to check in once!  He's sleeping on his own and he can get himself back to sleep if he wakes up.

It's like a miracle.  I'm soooo proud of him.  And of us.

I still kind of miss sleeping with him, but in his new phase as a mobile baby, he will not drift off peacefully.  As long as there is someone there to play with him, he will play and play until he drops.  And then he won't actually drop.  He'll just keep playing with his eyes half shut.  He's actually fallen asleep several times now, sitting up in his crib.  So it's just not possible to co-sleep at this point.  Fortunately, bed time is great now.  Since we tackled that a few months back, he goes down very easy and just babbles in the crib for a bit.

Now that I'm with him in the mornings, I'm also realizing he's waaaaay off on naps.  I've been pretty mellow about naps and scheduling.  But I guess Zack never takes one in the morning at daycare, since he's so busy playing.  At home, he has been napping by the book.  So we have to fix that!  I didn't want to get uptight about the nap stuff, but now I'm thinking the kid's been somewhat chronically sleep deprived.  Whenever I pick him up, he just crashes in the car.  It's suboptimal.

Today I put him down for his first nap, and when I checked on him, he was on his feet, looking in the closet door mirrors, jumping up and down.  It was awesome.  Then he started to fuss, and I did do a little soothing and nursing, and he slept for two whole hours.  So clearly he does need a mid-morning nap.  He just has to be absolutely convinced that he needs it.  I'm not sure if daycare can actually fix this one, but I'm going to work with them on it.

This was Mommy's birthday party!  This is an odd picture, but I like it because it gives an idea of the general chaotic vibe.  Pictured are Jessie (with Duncan inside the yellow shirt), the back of Tekla's head, Bruce, Zack, Julie, Marc, Darlene and Kelly, Stephanie and Birdie, Sarah and Lucy...and maybe some extras from the gigantic party for a one-year-old at the next tables over.  Turns out if you're a Mexican toddler, our local park is the place to be on your birthday!  Marion managed to snag a spot for us.

Bruce making Zack laugh.

Natalie managed to get her butt in the baby swing.  I'm not sure if there's an award for this, but there should be.

Marion and Jason.  I just think this is a nice picture of them.  As you can see, we had fantastic weather for the party.  Unfortunately, Baby Wes decided that the party was optimal nap time and had to leave.

Since I'm off work, we took Zack to infant and toddler story time at the local library.  I can usually not make this event, since I'm working.  It was really fun, even though it was total chaos!  Zack had a great time.  One LA note:  many nannies were there.  I know I keep mentioning the Hispanic population where we live, but it is interesting to see a 40-year-old Guatemalan woman with a little tow-headed baby.  We just looked at a house a block away from us--it cost close to a million dollars.  And at our local park, I often see $900 strollers.  So that's where we live, in an apartment that for some mysterious reason is one of the least expensive in all of LA.  Oh wait, I think I figured out the mysterious reason:  it's kinda crappy.  But cute!

Another thing I learned at infant and toddler story time is that Mommy is a SAP.  Yep.  When the librarian was singing the shake your body song, at the end part, where you shake your body and walk around and say hello to your new friends...well, I almost lost it.  I loved seeing all those little babies walk around and say hi to each other.

I had a similar reaction at Avery's birthday party.  Avery's brother, Jack was grousing and crying about how he wanted a certain seat.  Avery did not want to wear her birthday crown.  Robyn couldn't get the lighter to work to light the candle on the cake.  It looked like there would just be a complete implosion at this key point in the party.  And then the candle got lit and everyone sang Happy Birthday, and guess who almost started crying?  It just seemed so cool--family life!

Hey, this one's on sale.

After story time, we took Zack south to the Citadel Outlets, located at the intersection of the Five Freeway and all my memories from childhood.  We used to pass this place every trip to LA from Orange.  It looks like a giant Babylonian temple.  It's now a mall.  I had never, ever been inside until yesterday!

We had to get Zack some clothes.  Until now, we haven't had to buy him really anything, but we were almost completely out of PJs that did not fit him like a tight little sausage casing.  And Elsa, his main lady at daycare, doesn't like to dress him in tight pants.  We got him six pairs of "Roomy Comfy" pants for a two-year-old at the Carter's outlet store.

Chocolate mousse cake we had yesterday.

And I had today.  For breakfast.

My "It's my birthday so I can eat anything" mentality 

has been in effect since Sunday.

Jeff went to pick up food and picked up a ball for Zack, which was a hit!  He spent the entire visit at my folk's throwing this thing and then chasing it around and talking.  So much fun for $1.09!

So yesterday was story time, outlet shopping, and visit to my family.  AND, in the morning, we heard a new word.  We really could not get over this one.  As I was leaving our room to get the phone, I could have sworn I heard Zack say, "Water."  He was playing with Jeff's water bottle.  Water bottles are probably his second favorite toy, after this new ball.

Jeff said, "Did he just say water?"  Then we heard it several more times!  The weird thing is that I was getting the phone to call Arrowhead Water and straighten out our order for today.  So Zack kept saying, "Water!" and messing up the phone interaction with the Arrowhead robot customer service system.

Later, Jeff was filling up Zack's sippy cup, and Zack again said, "Water!"  It was so clear.  The feeling of amazement I have when I hear this is totally disorienting.  Jeff said, "Yeah, it's like seeing a ghost or an extraterrestrial creature or something.  Like something you've heard about but never believed in."  And that's really it.  I knew the kid would talk, but seriously?  He's talking?

He doesn't seem to accumulate words yet.  We hear these things, and then the next day it feels like we dreamt it, because he doesn't repeat himself.  Today we heard "Mama" again clearly.  But it's not like he starts using a word and then continues using it regularly.  It's still like a flicker, like we're getting some flash of reception from far away, and then back to jumbled static.  Except the jumbled static is actually still pretty charming.

Here's some fun footage of Zack trying to stand.  He is so determined.  He has also started cruising along furniture.  I have written a lot in this post because this video takes for-EV-ah to load.  So I hoped you enjoyed my chatty run down of the last few days.

Freaking finally...video's loaded!

Oh, and one more thing.  I've pretty much been thinking all along I would nurse Zack for the full first year, and I still believe we'll get there.  Nursing has been easy and enjoyable, for the most part.  I'm just sick of pumping at work, and I'm finding I want a little personal space back.  But yesterday, he bit Mommy soooo hard that he actually broke the skin, and I bled onto my shirt.  It was a pretty bad scene.  I had to hand him over to Jeff right away, because I was so upset.  I think I actually said, "You little bastard," which is something of a low blow, since you know, Zack really is a bastard.  But in a good way.  So I'm less inclined to believe we will go past one year of nursing, and more and more I'm thinking we'll get him onto cow's milk in a couple months and I will pack up the nay nays.  But we'll see!

Avery's Birthday Party

Zack went to a baby play date to celebrate Avery's birthday.

I like how you can see Leyla in the background chewing on another toy.

The birthday girl

Wow...this is all posting so fast.  I can't believe we lived without a fast internet connection for so long.  It feels like waking from a nightmare!

Uh...speaking of waking, that's what Zack is NOT doing now.  He's been asleep for four hours and fifteen minutes, which is a record for recent months.  We've weaned him off night feedings and he's sleeping in the crib.  That's a lot progress.  I'm so proud of him.  And of us.

Sleeeep.

Last night we all went to bed early and slept just about through the night, with a few minor interruptions from Zack. Even Jeff went to bed at ten.

Here's a more typical night for us:

Julie wakes up at 3 a.m. and comes into the kitchen, where there is a fierce, bright light. Jeff is photographing his pirate pod racer Lego creation. He's got the dining room set up like a professional photographer's studio. Julie wanders around like the living dead, pumps some milk, checks email, fiddles with the internet for a while.

It's no wonder Zack isn't on a strict night schedule. Schedules are for squares.

I don't think the lack of sleep involved in having a baby got to us as bad as most people. I was in graduate school just about until the night before Zack was born. And Jeff just doesn't keep a schedule or really believe in sleep, it seems to me.

Yay internet.

The cable dude came back again today with a partner and completely recabled our apartment.  Turns out the lines were damaged, possibly by plumbing issues beneath our place, and definitely by squirrels chewing the lines above our place.

Squirrels!

So I am currently enjoying some speed on the connection.  Hoooray.

Zack smiled like crazy at the cable guys.  You know, that whole adorable baby for strangers routine--little showoff.

I think it was Sunday that Zack played ball with me.  I rolled a ball to him, and he got the game and rolled it back.  His version of rolling the ball back is holding it up high until it drops and bounces to me.

More and more like a 100% sentient being every day!  So cool. 

I also got Zack more books at the library.  Yesterday when I went to pick him up, he was asleep.  He's usually asleep now that I have a new work schedule.  I no longer work Saturdays!  So I took advantage of his nap to hit the library, which is right near daycare.  I got a new card and a whole bunch of board books.  Zack, unfortunately for me, preferred his old books!  But tonight he warmed up to a few of the borrowed ones.

He has been going down to sleep more and more easily.  We are slowly crib training him and training him to sleep through the night.  I hope what we're doing works.  So far, he has gone back to his old peaceful night routine.  After a bath, some playing, some nursing, and stories, I've started telling him that he's going to bed and giving him a big hug and a lot of kisses.  I do the whole rationalization about how awesome it is to go to bed, because then you get to wake up tomorrow ready to play some more.  And well, it's working!  He goes in the crib and he gets himself to sleep.  Tonight he chatted to himself for a while, and then O-U-T.  Great stuff.

He is still waking up several times a night to eat, so Jeff is feeding him only from a bottle for the first couple night feedings.  We're lessening the ounces every time.  The result so far is that Zack has acclimated to the smaller feedings, and then when my shift comes around at 3:00 a.m., he is completely ravenous.  Plus after those unexciting bottles, the boobs make an appearance and it is just a lot of general excitement.  He's eating a huge meal at 3:00.  I tried to shorten it last night, and he woke up at 4:00 and then 5:00.  Oh, and then 6:00.

But we'll get there.  I really want him to sleep through the night, but my unwillingness to let go of co-sleeping with him interfered.  I only wanted the evenings to myself.  Once I got that, sleep training stopped for us.  I just loved having Zack sleep next to me.  I will really miss it.  And I'm sure I'm not completely through with it.  It's just too great.

But at the moment, he is soooo into crawling that he actually wakes up in motion.  If he's sleeping next to me now, the way I know he's awake is that he is on his way out the door.  Seems slightly dangerous.

So we put him in the baby cage!  And he's actually starting to like it, I think.

He has also fallen asleep twice sitting up.  He is just so into moving around these days that he will play and play until his eyes just close.  So far in his short life, he's been a baby who went to bed at his bed time, and it wasn't something we had to enforce.  But now it is!  So I'm really happy we did the minimal sleep training, because it made it easier to just put him down awake and walk out the door.

I haven't heard "Mommy" in a while, so now I wonder if it really happened.  Today when we were playing ball, I said, "Ball," and he said, "Ba!"  It's more the tone that seems like he's imitating me.  Yesterday, he bit me really hard on the shoulder.  I said, "NO!" and he shrank a little.  Then he said, "Na!" and it really seemed like he was imitating me.  So funny.  First time I've ever raised my voice to him.  But hey, those teeth are sharp!

Pictures!

Sorry we've been laggng with the photos! Zack had a checkup last week, and here he is waiting for the doctor. The stats: 24 pounds, 12 ounces (92nd-95th percentile), 30 1/2 inches (95th - 97th percentile) and a head circumerence of 19 inches (still off the charts).

Asleep on mommy

Hanging out in the front yard

Standing!

First time swimming!

Well, not really swimming. But we're going to enroll him in class.

Pear!

Yummy.  Some old pictures.  Internet connection working at the moment.  Technician arrives on Monday to replace or repair something.

Yesterday Zack and I went to play with Tekla, Geneva, Baby Kate (who is no longer a baby, but three!), and Tek's mom.  Geneva is simply the funniest person in the entire world.  She cracks Zack up.  He spent some time crawling around after her on the front lawn.  He also got to play a fun game with playing cards and a bowl.  I put the cards in the bowl, and he took them out and put them in his mouth.

Tekla is a great hostess and gave Zack some rice and beans and broccoli.  We've been a little lazy about finger foods around here, but only because I cannot seem to get to the store.  Yesterday, I had Zack in the car, finishing a car nap in the parking lot of Trader Joe's.  It took way too long.  I finished my Iphone Scrabble and got bored.  Then, Marion called and we blew off the store and went to the park.  So I ended up just letting my car idle in the parking lot for 40 minutes.

Schlepping

Yesterday Zack just took off, schlepped out of the living room, and into the hallway. He was moving fast, doing this peg legged crawl. He's on the left knee but up tall on the right foot. Sometimes the right foot is out in front. It's very funny looking, really, but he's fast.

He banged on the bathroom door, but it wouldn't open. Good--child proofing made easy! He turned and headed into our bedroom and made it pretty far. As soon as he decided Jeff's trash can was a good toy, I picked him up.

He's all over the place now! So cash in your bets. He did crawl, or anyway schlep, before walking. So many people told me he would probably skip the crawl phase completely.

And actually, I'm pretty sure he could move like this for a while, but why bother? If there are toys nearby, who needs to move?

AND! He also looked right at me and said, "Mommy." Seriously! I said, "Yes, that's right! I'm Mommy!" And he could tell I was pretty stoked, so he said it again! Still not a reliable crowd pleasing baby trick. He also will not wave bye bye just to make me look good. I mean, I know my baby is not supposed to be a performing monkey. But come on, monkey, dance and wave to the people already!

"Mommy" seems to not only mean who I am. It also indicates, "Hey, I want out of the highchair." Or, "I'm hungry." He actually did say, "Mommy nay nay." HI-larious. I wonder how long it will be before anyone actually can verify that I'm telling the truth. The baby is talking. FRRRREEEAKY!

Pictures soon. We have been dealing with too many annoying internet problems. I hope to have time to make some fixing attempts this weekend. Once again, I'm posting from my "job."

Special Bulletin

Zack stood up yesterday! No hands!

He was outside in the boat at daycare. There's a big plastic boat, where he has spent a lot of time since September. He's been hanging out in there since all he could do was lie around in a Boppy. The outdoor area at daycare is super nice.

I saw him pushing to standing, with his hands on the side of the boat. When he saw me, he stood up, arms over head, and said, "Nay nay!"

I was amazed! He was up for a few seconds, and then he sort of swayed and started to fall on his bum, but I caught him and gave him a whole bunch of kisses.

Yay Zack!

He is also definitely saying Mama. Clear as day.

And he ate a pear yesterday! Well, he toothed and gummed it. I got pictures, but stupid internet, stupid Airport Utilities, stupid invisible devices, grumble grumble grrrr... I don't know what is going on, but we are having some really annoying tech issues at home! I'm actually posting from (ahem) "work."

Back

I took a stab at our taxes today, using the free Turbo Tax software in the accounting class where I work.  When I saw the result, I returned our TV.  Well, it hasn't been delivered, so I just went to Best Buy and got a refund.  While I was there, I called Mom and found out she's being readmitted to the hospital.   I don't think she's as bad as she was.  Just dehydrated.

So everything and everybody is going back.  And more weirdness with Grandma.  I thought she was pretty together yesterday, but it's just so apparent that she cannot hold onto information.

But yesterday she did come up with the best term for how Zack gets around.  He's great at standing, but there's no forward motion.  If he really wants to move from A to B, he does this combination crawl, fall, roll, pull, and then a few other moves.  I actually want to videotape it and speed it up.  It kind of happens slowly, so that maybe five minutes later, you'll say, "Hey, he moved a whole seven feet!"  But you can't really remember how it happened.  We were out on the front lawn the other day and he got interested in the sprinkler, and then gradually, over time, he got to it.  I don't know how.  My grandmother nailed, though:  "He schleps."

Zack was kind of ornery in Best Buy today, but for a kid who had a too short nap in the car, he was very, very good.  There was some computer issue  and it took forever for this poor manager to run around the store collecting enough cash to repay me.  I had to get cash for some reason.  Then finally I didn't need cash.  I won't bore you with the details, but it took a along time.  At one point I had to warn the manager, "Um, I'm going to have a screaming baby in here soon."  But I didn't.  Just a baby who made me take my shirt off a whole bunch to give him his nay nay.  He's a good natured kid.  We're lucky.

I swear I'm hearing him say Mama.  Too weird.  It just can't be.

Slippers!

It's so funny what will capture Zack's attention.  He was fascinated by Mom's slippers when I went to visit the folks today.  I actually got these for her when she first went into the hospital.  The physical therapist and all the nurses there loved them, and apparently they were so popular that someone put a note on the bulletin board near the nurses' station informing everyone that you could purchase these slippers in the gift shop.  I was at a loss about what to get Mom, since no flowers were allowed.  I ended up opting for slippers, a stuffed animal, and a purse.  And I got myself the same purse.  It was a good day for the gift shop.

And Zack loves the slippers.

He had a great day visiting the family today.  Grandma was finally allowed to smush him a little.  He stood on my lap and waved his arms around and addressed the good people of the living room.  He's really quite the orator.  He played peekaboo with Great Grandma and laughed his head off.  And he ate a ton.  He ate a piece of bread, and some rice cereal and peas.  And he nursed non stop.

He also got interested in some papers Mom was removing from the coffee table, and he stood up with only one hand to balance himself, as he reached with his other hand toward the papers!  There was what seemed like a long, long moment where I watched this happening in complete disbelief.  The sight of him standing there, perfectly balanced, one hand outstretched, just by himself:  stunning.

So the family are all remarkably in their right minds again.  Mom straightened out Grandma's meds, and now Grandma is making sense again.  And Mom herself is now lucid, which I'm not quite used to.  For a month I've been talking to and taking care of people who had a hard time communicating and understanding me.  It got to the point where if Jeff didn't catch what I said and asked, "What?" I would almost get panicky.  (No, no, not you, too!)  But now all seems to be well.

Sticks!

I took this with my iPhone, which doesn't work so great in low light, but it captures the action-y blur of these xylophone sticks, which Zack used today to bang the heck out of everything.  I thought he might smash his new little toy cell phone.  He banged the sticks together.  He would not let go of the sticks today.  I had to put him in the high chair with the sticks, and he didn't eat much--just sat there banging on the tray.   I finally pried them loose for bath time.  It was great to see how much he latched on to the concept that these were little hammers.  It kinda looked like that monkey scene in 2001--except much louder.

Jeff came home and found one stick in the kitchen, one in the bathroom, and Zack and me asleep on the futon.  I often fall asleep at 7:00 with Zack and then have a little wander round the house at 2 or 3 in the morning.  You know, a little dinner.  A little futzing with our internet.

I don't know what is up, but I keep thinking that maybe the economy is finally hitting our internet connection.  It's slow, and for some reason, my computer can't see devices, and then Jeff's computer can't access my network.  And we're having trouble on Rational Moms, too.  It's just frustrating because it's bad enough that I have to do my taxes, but if you get me started fixing computer problems, I'll just emerge three days later from this frustrated but happy little geek hole.  It's such a time suck, but in this weird way, I do enjoy it.

And speaking of tech stuff, Zack and I went to Best Buy today, and we had a stellar time together as usual.  He decided it was nap time--no arguments, folks, it's happening now!  And he napped in my arms while I looked at various flat screen pictures.  When he woke up, he was in a great mood, bubbly and ready for admiration.  A woman came over and started talking about his big blue eyes, his red hair, and oh my gosh, a dimple, too?  It's the whole package! Then she tickled Zack (okay, a little weird when people touch your baby, but this time it was fine) and he let out a peal of his unbelievable little laugh, and then it was over.  The woman was just beside herself.  She could not believe it.  I mean what is with this kid?  Did he go to baby charm school when I wasn't looking?

The guy working at Best Buy gave Zack a little toy Curious George, and Zack looked the guy right in the eye.  It was like he was saying thanks.

And then the guy rung us up for a brand new TV.

Happy frickin' 40th birthday to me.

Okay, it's actually coming up in April, but here's the thing, our old TV sucks.  The sound is terrible.  My ex got the TV used from the people moving out of our old apartment, and it went on the fritz not too long after that.  We tried rerouting the sound through the stereo, but the sound connection thingy is also broken.

I work at a vocational school, so I asked the home theater repair teacher about fixing my TV.  He said it wasn't even worth it to fix TVs.  I don't know if that's necessarily the whole story, but hey, good enough excuse for Jeff and I to buy a new one.  Only we haven't bought a new one.  We just keep trying to watch the old one, and we have to use the captions feature on DVDs just to make out anything at all.

We just had a discussion about the TV situation, and we also had a discussion about how we're going to track our expenses for 30 days, starting today.  We figure we're spending too much money on takeout and expensive juices, and we need to curb that.  So today I spent $1.80 on snacks, $4.00 on Girl Scout cookies I bought from a co-worker....

And oh yeah, I bought a TV.  Add that to the tally!  First day out and I'm already saving money on juice!

Another funny thing about Best Buy with Zack was that I didn't bring in my diaper bag.  I didn't even bring in my wallet.  I just got out my bank card and my driver's license, and my phone, and I carried Zack.  I left everything else in the car.  And oh yeah, I actually left my diaper bag at home.  I didn't have it with me when I picked him up from daycare, and Best Buy is on the way home.

It was such a bad idea, in retrospect.  I had none of his stuff with me, not even another diaper.  And it was near nap time.  But what can I say?  I guess he travels light like I do.  He was ready for the whole scene, as long as we could stop for an hour while he slept in my arms.  And that actually worked out great, because then I could really study the subtle differences between the pictures on the models in my price range.  (It was the low range, just to make everyone feel a little better about the TV.) I think this is what that actually stopped me from buying a TV during my other trips to Best Buy.  I didn't have enough time to stare and stare at the three choices I really had, trying to determine if I wanted the sky to be bluer or the butterflies to maybe look more realistic.  I totally opted for more color.  Screw realistic.  I'm a sucker for saturation.

Zack is still waking up every three hours at night to eat, and I think I might actually muster up the strength to try and night wean him.  But for the most part, I find then when I just roll with what he can do, it works.  I have kind of stopped believing I can do much about his naps.  Obviously if he can sleep in Best Buy and Home Depot, he knows when he needs to sleep.

Worse

Okay, I might have my first nervous breakdown today.

I'm just so effing tired. In spite of my glorious post on Rational Moms about our victorious sleep training and my decision to side with mainstream parents across the US, um, we SUCK at sleep training, and we're pushovers. We give in to every demand.

Tekla came over to babysit last night, and Jeff and I went to see the Watchmen. We knew it would be dicey, because the night before, Zack had a full on freak out when he did his hour after bed time wakeup. I warned Tek. She's a pro, so she asked a great question: how long should she let the boy cry before calling me?

And I said, hey, if you're uncomfortable, call. No minimum time requirement.

I can't say I'm sorry she called, because the Watchmen was the most violent, disturbing crap I've ever sat through. There were a lot of shots of cute buttocks, though, if you're into that. And some full frontal male nudity. I guess you can show a big, blue atomic guy's weinie now. I guess the MPAA is okay with it. They didn't show it when the big, blue atomic guy was the size of a house--just when he was our size, so hey, it's fine.

Zack woke up to eat last night, and Jeff brought him into our room. And his diaper leaked all over the mattress. So we had to change him, and he completely, totally blew his top. That is just NOT how it gets done at our place, most of the time. You don't tear the baby away from the boob mid meal, at two in the morning. I mean, what was THAT ABOUT????!!!! Sheer outrage. We tried various calming techniques as Jeff attempted to squeeze the little sausage into his size 12 month PJs. NO EFFING DICE.

At one point, we stood him up just to see if we could wrangle his wriggly hands into his sleeves, and he started twisting his body around to see if he could get his wailing mouth any closer to the Mommy prize.

So traumatic!

And Tek fed him all the milk last night, so although I tried to pump, I could not catch up. I have not been able to stay ahead of him, have no frozen supply, since month five or something.

I really envy my friends whose babies just decided they were not interested in breast milk at nine months old. Zack will be at it until he's five, if we let him.

And the way things are going, won't we just let him??? We are really not very forceful about much. I woke up with him in the futon again today, swapped places so Jeff could keep him company, and now they are coming to visit me at work, so we don't have to give Zack formula. And...I'm pumping while I write this!

We are trying to not give Zack formula because we think it really might bother his eczema. But I'm philosophically fine with formula. Even though for some odd reason, it's a huge challenge to my ego whenever the kid gets even an ounce of it.

So I may as well give it up. I thought I was a sleep training, baby in the crib, formula loving, modern mom. But let's face it, I'm a breast feeding and co-sleeping mom, and I may never sleep through the night again!

Better

Hey, everybody. Just wanted to say:

Foot's better.

Butt's better.

Zack's better.

Mom's coming home today.

The arrangements for her homecoming have been characteristically cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over at the folks' place. Things have always been nutty in my family. With the addition of several prescription pain meds and a hefty dose of old age, the confusion and theatrics became even more intense. But we seem to have worked it out. Last I heard, everything was settled. According to Mom, Leticia and Lidia will now come to help Grandma for a combined total of four hours a day.

And according to Grandma, only Leticia is coming, and only for two hours a day.

I'm glad everyone's happy! Can't wait to see how this one plays out. I was on the phone from work for several hours yesterday. I hope they don't send me a bill.

More Fun With the Little Dude

Not a new picture.  Just wanted to post about our day.

First off, while I thought that Zack throwing up all over the car was the cherry on top of the crap sundae that has been this month, I think it was actually just the whipped cream.  Yesterday, at an audition, I had to run around and do a bunch of physical stuff, and I ran into the camera tripod.  The audition folks were saying, "Did you break your toe?  I heard a crunch!"  I said of course not and continued to run and jump around.

Then, I got in the car, and I realized that clearly, I had broken my toe!  It is so black and blue today.  I went to get an x-ray.

So that just must be the cherry!  It must be!  That has to be the end of the lameness.

And speaking of end, well, there's actually yet one more thing.  So...it seems our blog has a few readers from my mother's workplace, and well, I feel a little bad that they got to hear all about her soiled robe.  So just to let it all out, I have a hemorrhoid, left over from pregnancy, and lately it has been really bothering me.

So when Jeff comes home and says, "How are you?"  I really only have this to say:

My toe hurts.

And my butt hurts.

Before the audition, Jeff and I actually had a lunch date, and it was so great to see him in the middle of the day, and it was so sunny and nice.  I just knew things were looking up.

Crunch.  Broken toe.

But anyway, I had a fantastic day with Zack today.  Here's what we did, after my toe x-ray.

We dropped off a job application for me at LA Valley College.  Why was it so fun?  I think it was fun to carry Zack across the campus.  I've been skeptical of slings, since the boy is just so huge, so I thought I'd rupture a disk carrying him in a sling.  But I could really see the fun of a sling as I carried him along on my hip and was privy to his view of the world.  He noticed squirrels, so I noticed them.  He saw birds whizzing overhead, so I did, too.  It was really great to see all this normal stuff as new and exciting stuff.  And it was really great for everyone to just fall apart when they saw Zack.

And keep your fingers crossed.  I think I'd like to get this job, and it's right near Zack's daycare.  It would get me out of LAUSD, which is just one big sinking ship right now.  I have the exact experience they're looking for, and then I'd be a real live college teacher.  We'll see.

Then Zack and I went to drop off his little headshots at his agency, which is right near our place, as it turns out.  Then, we went to the post office.  And then I got some pizza and he played with my keys and the top of a Snapple bottle.  In the pizza place, I heard the following gold as hell exchange between some teenage boys:

Boy One:  Why does your hair look like you just had sex with ten monkeys?

Boy Two:  Because that's what happened.  Only it was twenty monkeys.

Those unsuspecting boys have no idea that I am stealing this dialogue.  It's just too good not to end up in something.

The owner of the pizza place and his relative at the cash register (who looked 18 and had an 18-month-old) talked to me and Zack.  They loved Zack.  This place was supposed to be New York Pizza, but the pizza (although delicious) was nothing like I remember from New York, and the interior of the joint was covered with LA graffiti.  It maybe was supposed to be cool, but it was a mess.  The place delivers, and when I told them approximately where I live, the owner said, "Yeah, they just found a body in a trunk over there."

How he knows this, and who "they" are, I did not ask.  I surely didn't hear about this incident before today!

And there you have it.  Our day in North Hollywood.  Why was it so much fun?  When I write it all out, it seems quite mundane.  And perhaps at times sinister and frightening.  But whenever I'm with Zack, I just have the best time.  He makes all my little errands so awesome.  I love taking him out to get stuff done.  He's so game.  He is happy to sit on my lap while I eat pizza.

Oh, and then we came home and played roll around on the futon and laugh like crazy.  That was really fun.

And now he's taking a nap during what used to be his bedtime.  His recent illness and daylight saving time have really messed up our schedule.  I gotta go get him up now.

And Mom is better and better.