Thursday, June 12, 2008

For the ladies!

I thought I'd get the birth story in from my perspective.

June 9th

I have the 100th conversation with my mom about my frustration with this scheduled c-section. Why isn't my body going into labor?

Jeff and I decide to partake in a local legend by eating at Caiote Cafe and ordering the famous "The Salad." This thing is supposed to drive women into labor when they are past their due dates. The cafe has books and books full of testimonials about this. So we thought it would be funny to go and order the salad, since we knew we were delivering the next day anyway. I wrote in the book something like, "If this works, I will chuck all my fancified ideas about science and logic out the window!"

Check it out. Something is happening in my life besides giving birth! I was a finalist in the UCLA Showcase. Here are some of the other winners. Agents and managers have actually been calling me to read my pilot script! As you can see, pregnancy and winning showcase go hand in hand. Here's me and Jenny bumping bellies.

I was very proud of how many of my gorgeous and talented female friends placed and won in the contest. Rock out ladies. Oh, and congrats to the guys as well. And to the producers, who did a fantastic job. It was a fun night.

I didn't think I'd be able to make it to Showcase. As it turns out, I will miss graduation. And I already rented my cap and gown--no refunds. Oh well.

I decide to stay out all night partying and roll into the c-section the next day having slept until the late afternoon. This plan is completely scrapped when I look at my cankles, which have swelled to the size of softballs. Jeff and I go home.

June 10th
I wake up just in time to slam my last pre-surgery meal. Mom calls to tell me she's on the way. I start straightening up the house. And...

MY WATER BREAKS! Holy cow! I can no longer be a skeptic. That effing salad worked! I can't believe it! ( was just time anyway--but still, weird, huh?)

I calmly tell Jeff the situation. His response: "Um, do I have time to take a shower?" We get our stuff together. I'm oddly calm, but also so excited. Could it be my body works after all? Hooray! I call Mom to tell her the news, and she just about starts crying on the phone.

We get to the hospital and tell the nurse I want to try labor. We get put into one of the beautiful labor and delivery rooms at St. Joe's.

Mom arrives and reports that in her excitement, she hit a Lexus in the parking lot. Oops. Turns out the Lexus owner also just became a dad, so he's cool. Mom left him a note, because she's not some LA a-hole! So she deals with the guy's insurance while we all play Scrabble.

Doctor shows up and examines me. And here's the skinny:

No dilation, a little effaced, very posterior, and baby's head not down.

Now...if I were giving birth in a tub of water in my living room, a midwife might tell me to just wait it all out. But apparently when your water breaks, and you're giving birth in a hospital, they don't play around for too long. They want the baby out asap, because they don't want to risk infection. So it looks like my choices are pitocin or continue with the c-section as scheduled. Or maybe argue with these people all day and night about how I don't want any medication--which really doesn't suit me. I like meds, trust medicine.

A nurse encourages me to fight the power and try to deliver this baby naturally! She gets us all riled up.

The doctor reminds me that the baby is a big one. He gives me the lowdown on the risks of delivering the old fashioned way. The risks are all to Zack--shoulder dystocia being the main one. Because I'm a mad Googler, I know all this already. Risk is small, but there. And the injury he might sustain is unacceptable to Jeff and me. Doctor leaves, and Mom and Jeff and I conference. I couldn't live with myself if Z got injured on the way out. I think I could probably deliver him, BUT the state of my cervix is not promising. It looks like I could be one of those women who get the worst of both worlds: 20 hour painful labor augmented by drugs...followed by the inevitable c-section anyway. We all vote to go ahead with the scheduled c-section. It's a bummer, but hey, at least I got the drama, the excitement, the mad rush to the hospital! And even a few contractions!

Surgery goes great. And when I say "great" I mean I hated every single second of it until I heard Zack cry. For all of you who told me this was a "breeze" um...thanks for lying. It sucked! Hated feeling all the pushing and pressure, hated the spinal block, hated the lack of control, hated the operating room. Hated it all. Until the boy came out safe...and huge!

Doc's quote, and please imagine Isreali accent for comic effect: "Julie, this baby barely could come out of your abdomen, and you thought you would get him out of your vagina?"

Jeff looks over the screen to see Zack and declares, "He looks like a one month old!"

The nurse who had told us to fight back and just say no to surgery concedes, "Um...yeah, this was the right call. Nobody wants to deliver a 15 inch baby head."

Well, I'm glad they all feel so great about it.

Anyway, then I see Zack, and he is just gorgeous. And I continue to be amazed at how beautiful he is. I can't stop staring at him. He's such a big, beautiful boy. I know I'd love our baby no matter what, but what a bonus to get such a cute one. Everyone was right about this: he's the new love of my life.

Okay, one more thing, our doctor always forgets who I am. He's a good doctor, but just not the greatest bedside manner. Confuses all his patients. So just now he popped in and said, "Okay, I will probably circumsize the baby tomorrow..." And we said, "No you won't! You stay away from there! We're not circumsizing!" Jeez! I think I may have to get Zack a tee-shirt that says, "Please leave my big beautiful penis alone!"


Octopunk said...

Asking if I had time for a shower makes a bit of sense, if I'd said exactly what my first thought was, it would've been "but I haven't shaved!"

The nurse, Linda, was great. Even if she encouraged us to do something we didn't go through with, she helped us make sure that decision was ours, and not something we were scared into.

Zack's smiled a couple of times, kinda. I know it's because of satisfying gas, but that doesn't really diminish the fun.

DCD said...

AWESOME post Julie! I love the progression! And I'm also impressed that the shirt you wore in December still fit you in June -way to rock the awesome pregnant body Jules!

I'm so happy to hear all your perspective. More, more more!!

Landshark said...

Great recap. And congrats on the showcase!

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